CRY

if you think crying can help, then cry..





if it can lessen the pain inside your heart, feel free to do it...




if you cant bear the pain inside, just cry!






* sometimes we cry without any reason, but as tears fall down we feel relieved!

NO QUITTING!!!

B-A-T-C-H-O-Y

Batchoy, a noodle soup which originated in the district of La Paz, Iloilo City in the Philippines....but for me, batchoy is the official food of BCSG, our psychotherapy group! hahaha... i dont know why i'm putting this on my blog...hahaha.....maybe because i dont eat batchoy before...if there's one person responsible for letting me eat this food, it was my adoptive mom...PEACE ma!...i have no choice but to it that batchoy i have eaten batchoy for 6x pa lg....call me weird! but i only eat the noodles and the meat...well, for the reason that i don't understand the taste of the soup...haha...

For all things you've lead me through and taught me

And for promising me that you will never leave me

Through and through you've shown me the ropes

Helping me in anything and everything I face

Everyday you're there for me by simply calling your name

Rarely do I get to thank you enough.

So on this special day, I do exactly that.
Thank you for being my father!

assessment

....if my memory serves me well, im already on my 2nd month on being a PGI already...whew! how time fleet so fast.... as i am observing the JIs now, i cant help myself but to turn back to the time when i was also a junior intern. yah right! ive been there too! doing paperworks everyday, answering questions to consultants/ residents (lucky if i can), whoops! not to forget, crying in the corridor and asking myself why i have entered this arena? but all those things did a great help to me...

so how's life being a PGI now? i admit, things are lighter now, 'coz no pressure on doing paperworks, hey! dont get me wrong....i have learned so much in doing hx taking, monitoring, and other things, i havent learned in the four corners of our room...

so, what's the greater responsibility we've been talking before? well, i think its imparting to the JIs what we have also learned from our consultants, residents, previous PGIs, and other hospital's staff the things that they too had taught us...imagine! it was just a year ago..

another responsibility i've been referring to is managing patients...being a PGI is not just seeing patients at the emergency room or at the out patient department and referring it to the residents...i thinks it more than that...by this time, your initial assessment and management to the patient is important...every meds, labs, and other diagnostic tools you've been requiring to every patients serves a purpose...your clinical eye is being tested..in what sense? well as the patient is entering the room, your mind tells you is this an emegency case or not? thus this patient needs to be admitted or not...well, so many things are juggling on your mind..
well, for now, all i can say i'm just enjoying every bit of my rotation and its worth enjoying!

STAR

I HAVE FOUND A HARD TIME RECALLING THE TITLE OF THIS SONG...
I DONT KNOW, BUT THIS SONG REALLY APPLIES TO MY LIFE..THIS WAS INTRODUCED TO ME BY MY HS TEACHER WHEN I WAS 1ST YR HS...

GO THE DISTANCE

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world
I will face its harms
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

In His Strong Arms

He's been calling me, but i never answered to His call...He was stretching His arms, but never did I hold on to it...! One question that have been playing in my mind before was, "why He just let it happened? Oh! poor little faith of mine! After my long quest on searching for the answers to my question, finally i found it...He was molding me! I admit, there has been a point of my life when i had loose grip on my faith...i always ask Him, why let these things happened to me in just a spur of a moment...all i can feel at that time was things are really out of my control! Just a week after my graduation, a resident gave me a book, it was a nice book...(I suggest you'll read it too!). She told me it was something to keep me ready for my internship, at first i thought it was the new edition of medical blue book!!! hahaha! but it wasn't... I never thought it would be of great help in my quest! Remember the poem Footprints in the sand? Of course! I do! I have read it for so many, many times in life, but I didn't appreciate it before...
Now I understand why He let it happened. He was molding me...He was calling my attention...He was showing to me how strong is His arms and how safe I am in His arms! Just as the father would pick up his own child and carry him over the rough ground, God carried me when the going gets tough. I'm finally at ease now! I'm finally home! I'm finally back to His strong arms!

(P.S. Thanks for giving me that book...it was really an inspiring one! more than just a guidelines as what you have told me before...)

it's my first day!!

i hate it when my period comes! why? first and foremost this dysmenorrhea thing really ruins my day! i can't do the things i wanted to do...instead of doing some things, here i am if not lying in bed for the rest of the day, i'm just sitting in one corner...times like this? it's nice to set myself on autistic mode...aside from dysmenorrhea, i have a slight change of my mood...blame it on hormones! though i'm trying to control it, but sometimes i cant...haha! sometimes trying to hold my temper! sorry to those who have been affected with my mood swings!
on the other hand, having a period and on my autistic mode, made me sometimes ponder about myself...kinda weird...but it's true! i dont know but it really happens all the time...see? it really pays to be an autistic!

it's a free day today...i'm on a weekend off! just a day of rest then back to duty mode tomorrow...what's seemed so different today? well, i'm free to sleep anytime i want...hahaha... anyway, i'm just surprise what happened this AM, someone called me (mr. past), i'm not already used talking with him, though we seldom communicate... what really surprises me was he'll just call on this early morning, just to ask me if i can join him in his daily "routine"...jogging! hahaha...weird ka gd ya! i know we've been doing that, but it was so looooooooong ago...hello, im not avoiding you, para ano? honestly, there's still about a percent left inside, but it doesnt matter now...well, wondering why i dont want to go with you for a jog? I'd rather have my long sleep, than jog for an hour on the track...it's not that i dont want to go with you, it's just that my feet were so "heavy", and another reason, im not doing that already G...maybe next time...hahaha...(kun ari ka pa d sa Philippines eh)....or you can invite someone else, if you like! haha