My 1st spinal anesthesia

Just a product of being bored, so i decided to blog...
Dec. 18, 2007: my 1st lumbar puncture..twas a successful one..haha..more LPs to go!

At last, im already done...well, i guess...im back to the "old" me...i mean, not on an autistic mode..hahaha! i thought it was impossible to finish my work on the date that i had set...why did i think it was impossible? Well, i never really like hematology in the first place. Unluckily, the topic that i'll be reporting was about AML, haha...it was really a hema thing. At first, doing that thing was really a punishment for me. Anyways, as what everyone had said, everything happened for a purpose. It had made me more patient and determined. One thing had just entered my mind, "if others can do it, why cant I?" Defy the Impossible!

There's no such thing as constant except for change...
But it so sad sometimes that these changes that are happening to our lives are the one that causes pain..sometimes we can easily cope, but there are also times that we wished thing havent change..coz those things that were already part of our life, had somewhat made us whole...and it's hard to let it go..
Life is like that, things just come and go, they touch our lives, leave marks on our hearts, make us realize our worth, and make us feel complete..

What keeps me going?

Feelin' so bored and depressed these past few days...i dont know if it's hormonal imbalance or it's PMS.. I've been searching for the answer to my question..what keeps me going? Im 100% sure of my choice and that's to become an MD..no question with that..
But lately, im beginning to ask myself..what keeps me going? What if this is not the kind of life that i wanted?
....what really keeps me going? For now its my family, my dream, and maybe because im in a point of no return..

just make the right choice!!

Its a human nature that we always follow what makes us feel GOOD. What we dont realize is that some things that pleases us can hurt other people. So though it is painful, I would rather follow and choose what is humane. I would rather be RIGHT. Because as long as I go after what is right, I know that I am not compromising other people.

The First Cut Is the Deepest

Holding On or Letting Go?

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

“Love is holding on, fighting for what you feel but sometimes love is letting go, setting free knowing he will be happy if you do”

The hardest part with letting go though is you just wake up one day and realize that all your efforts and everything you have valued through your relationship had been vanish in just a blink of an eye and it’s just too painful to endure. It's too late already and I think letting go also entails a lot of "what ifs".

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.

I am the one
Who believes in all that you say
I am the one
Who never wants to define herself
I am the one
Who's parallel, upfront, behind
I am the one
Paddling like crazy through the night

Refine, old time, colourblind
Big sign, do time, doesn't rhyme
A lot, to much, standing tall
And I'm crying in the valley:
“I shall never, ever fall!” and

People are people
And I feel so strong
People are people and I'm
Going on

I am the one
Who stirs it up everytime
I am the one
Who never know how close she is
I am the one
Who'd rather be dead than confess
I am the one
Trying to be good, wanting to be bad and so on

Excess, temptress, big mess
Phoney, lonely, it's a test
Be still my heart, don't you fail
And I'm crying on the stagefloor:
“I will always prevail!” and

I'm going on…

TIme Will Tell

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, “Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?”

Richness answered, ” I’m sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.”

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.
Love cried out, “Vanity, help me please.”

“I can’t help you”, Vanity said, “You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.”
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by.

Love said, “Sadness, please let me go with you.”
Sadness answered, “Love, I’m sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.”
Then, Love saw Happiness.

Love cried out, ” Happiness, please take me with you.”
But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn’t hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.

Then, she heard a voice say, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, “Who was it that helped me?”

“It was Time”, Knowledge answered.

“But why did Time help me when no one else would?”, Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
“Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

To me, life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead me to my destination, my purpose in life.

The road will not always be smooth, in fact, throughout my travels, I will encounter many challenges.

Some of these challenges will test my courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, I may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that I’m destined to take.

In order to follow the right path, I must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only I don’t realize that at the time.

Along my journey I will be confronted with many situations, some will be filled with joy, and some will be filled with heartache.

How I react to what I faced with determines what kind of outcome the rest of my journey through life will be like.

When things don’t always go my way, I have two choices in dealing with the situations.

I can focus on the fact that things didn’t go how I had hoped they would and let life pass me with, or two, I can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned.